Right now, the "web…blah…log" is not being updated regularly, but feel free to peruse the archive, and check out our carefully selected highlights from Season One, Season Two, and Season Three.

Friday, May 9, 2014

from the vault: high school essay

So here we are.

It's been a while, I know. And I still have nothing new to say. But with the Internet all awash in misty watercolor memories of a seemingly ancient political scandal, and seeing all sorts of fallout articles about how Millennials view feminism, I thought I'd dredge up an old, unpublished gem from my laptop's innards that I think is a wee bit timely. It's a parody essay about feminism, written from the view of an ignorant-yet-trying-to-be-intelligent high school student in 1998. It was rejected - years ago - for publication elsewhere when I initially wrote it in 2007, so hell, why not here?

("Hell, why not here?" is, coincidentally, a rejected tagline for this site.)

I reiterate: it's a parody essay, written in another character's voice. It does not reflect my own opinion, beliefs, or general knowledge. Don't be all snarky and quote any lines out of context. And again, think 1998Oh, and it's supposed to be funny, or maybe it isn't… but that's the way it always goes here at "web…blah…log."

I shouldn't have to qualify a post that much, but it's the Internet, so you know that I do.


Enjoy:

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

3rd blog-iversary


So here we are, on the third anniversary of “web…blah…log.” 

It seems appropriate that today, on this [insert adjective of your choice here] occasion, I should let you know that there’s going to be a bit of a change here: we’re retooling.

Friday, August 30, 2013

internet debate


So here we are.

There is no such thing as a slam dunk on the Internet. There is no such thing as an uncontroversial opinion, no matter how innocuous it may seem to be. You can’t win. Let me repeat that: you can’t win.

For example, let’s make an innocent little point:

Point: I like cookies.

And now, the rebuttals:

Sunday, August 25, 2013

priceland


So here we are. 

If the world was like The Price is Right, everyone would be so happy just to be here. There’d be excitement in the air every day, just because of all of the possibilities.

Monday, August 19, 2013

mixed messages


So here we are, at my 250th post.

I can’t say that I’ve learned a lot from my 249 previous posts, or, for that matter, from my 41 years of living, mostly because everything I’ve learned so far seems to be contradicted by all of the other things I’ve learned.

To wit:

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

dear singers


So here we are.

Here is mostly what Every Sound Guy/Gal says to singers, more or less:

Hey, man, how’s it going? Okay, so this is your mic, and here’s how the mic stand works. Yeah, it’s the kind you squeeze to adjust… right, like that. You got it. Oh, and it’s better if you slide the mic in from the back when you put it back on the stand. The clip is a little wonky. We good here? Ready to check? 

Now, here is what Every Sound Guy/Gal secretly wants to say to singers, but doesn’t ever say because every sound guy/gal is very laid back and cool and would never want to do anything to mess up a show because he’s/she’s just that professional:

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

rejection letter


So here we are. 

An odd thing happened when I tried to post something to this web…blah…log earlier this year. I got the following form letter:

Thursday, August 1, 2013

apology


So here we are.

Whenever a public figure messes up -- or, rather, messes up and gets caught -- said public figure usually puts on his most contrite face, stands in front of a podium, and no matter what the scandal actually is, recites the same, generic, carefully worded speech: